St John Lennon
Today, Dec 8, 2010 the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death, the Roman Catholic Church canonized John Lennon.
To be canonized a saint in the Roman Catholic Church, the Church has the candidate’s body exhumed and examined, a certification of "non cultus" is made to prove that no superstitious or heretical worship or improper cult has grown up around the saint candidate or their tomb, and then relics (pieces of hair, flesh, and bones) of the saint candidate are taken to be sold by the Church at auction or on eBay.
In addition, at least two miracles must have been performed by the saint candidate. The Church stated that one miracle was John’s ability to endure his marriage to Yoko Ono and the other was that Yoko Ono actually sold a music album. A Papal spokesperson, who wishes to remain anonymous, said “If those aren’t two miracles, then I don’t know what the hell a miracle could be”.
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